


Now I get it.

by flightinflame



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Body Horror, Coitus Interruptus, Dubious Consent, Dubious Morality, M/M, Manipulation, Multi, Post-Season/Series 02, eldritch abomination Friedkin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-04
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:36:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,749
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14840490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flightinflame/pseuds/flightinflame
Summary: Friedkin comes back, to try and warn Ken and Priest. Things don't go quite according to (his) plan.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The person responsible for this knows what they did. Thank you to my ever incredible Beta.

"Are you two... like...are you two like fucking?" came a very familiar voice. A voice that at one time Priest had never expected to hear again, what with Ken murdering the other man and everything. He raised his head, reaching up to the bedside table and grabbing the squeaky toy Ken had left there - the new Director of Blackwing's idea of a joke. He lobbed it towards the mass of shadows against the doorway that was slowly forming into the ex-supervisor's shape. The toy passed through him, and he frowned a little, a confused expression lingering in his demonic eyes. "Because like... that wasn't... I didn't know you were doing that when I came in here-"

"We're quite clearly fucking," Priest glared. Ken stared at him in disbelief, seeming to wait to find out what he was going to do about the Eldritch abomination. Priest was almost tempted to point out Ken was the one who had pushed him through into the weird portal thing. Rather than getting trapped in a pocket dimension, something else had clearly happened.  
"Mister Priest?" the voice said again, and now the mass of shadows was something closer to Friedkin's form, approaching him curiously, arm outstretched. Fingertips brushed against his shoulder, electric and barely there. "You... there's a mark on your shoulder and it kind of... it kind of looks like-"  
"If you don't mind," Ken snapped from underneath him. "We were in the middle of something."

That at least was enough to get the whatever-it-was that had once been Friedkin to stop touching him, which Priest was glad for. He was interested in what Friedkin had become, and given the chance wanted to see what he could do - but this was a slightly more vulnerable position than he had intended for the confrontation.  
"Oh..." Friedkin paused, looking at them again. "So you... you want me to go wait in the hall?"  
"Yes," Priest muttered, and Friedkin slinked off, managing to look surprisingly like a kicked puppy for a creature made of darkness.

He paused, glancing down at Ken, who shrugged and moved his hips.  
"You've got a gun in your bedside cabinet, some rope on the shelf, two knives-" he kept his voice low as he listed off Priest's armoury. Priest leaned in to nip at the skin of Ken's jaw.  
"Knew there was a reason I liked you baby-"  
"No marks, I've got a meeting-"  
"You said you hadn't got anything tomorrow-"  
"Well, _apparently_ there's some kind of other-dimensional horror in the hallway that thinks otherwise."

Priest chuckled to himself, his hands slipping between the two of them.  
"We could have asked him to join in."  
"He gives me a headache."  
"Keep his mouth full then, can't talk, no headaches," Priest reasoned. "He's pretty good at it really. Wants to please, you know? Wants to be a good boy."  
"I think he picked the wrong side for that," Ken muttered, gasping as Priest's teeth grazed against a sensitive spot.

***

"Are you guys, like... done yet? There was a lot of... like, a lot of moans and... I think you're done, so can you let me back in now?"   
"Give us a minute," Priest answered, and was startled when that worked, slipping his weapons into various pockets and holding onto his gun.

"Okay, just don't be too long okay because I've got, like, I'm meant to talk to Incubus and they're... they're awful, keep trying to eat me like-"  
"You know where Incubus are?" Priest asked, smirking.  
"I do, but I'm not going to like, tell you, because you'd like, you'd hurt them and you didn't listen before when I told you not to hurt them," came the voice.  
Ken groaned slightly as he did up the buttons of his shirt, rubbing at his forehead. He paused, glancing at the jacket Priest was pulling on.  
"Isn't that his?"  
"He's dead, he don't need it." Priest shrugged. "Anyway, it looks good on me."  
Ken snorted slightly, but his hand ran up Priest's thigh before he moved it away, turning to the door.  
"Okay, you can come in now," Ken called out, and Friedkin stepped through the door, glancing at Priest's gun.

"You know you can't, like, shoot me? The bullets... don't work right, like, they'll go through me and it won't hurt me so you don't need to do that..."  
"I like having my gun," Priest replied.

"Why are you here?" Ken asked, trying to direct the conversation back to where it was meant to be going.  
"Is that my jacket?" Friedkin stared at priest. "You should give that back."  
"You're intangible." Priest answered, and the mass of darkness frowned and crossed its arms.

"You don't need to insult me. I came here with a purpose. Because like, what you're doing... it's bad stuff. You're gonna hurt a lot of innocent people, and you're gonna make things worse. So the universe is gonna stop you. And I'm here to tell you that so that you like... you get a fair warning and stuff like that right?"

"It's alright sweetcheeks, don't you worry your pretty little head about none of that stuff," Priest answered, moving forwards, reaching out and this time he was the one to touch the darkness, feeling it ripple against him. "We know what we're doing."  
"I really don't think you do-" Friedkin protested, so Priest pushed him back slightly, kissing him violently, his hands resting on what seemed to be the man's hips.  
"I really think we do know what we're doing darlin'. Just let us get on with it, you know things are more fun when me and Ken here are in charge-"

A flicker of confusion crossed those strange red eyes, and Priest glanced back to Ken, who shrugged a little. He smirked.  
"Come on darlin', let us show you."


	2. Chapter 2

Moloch was unconscious and Icarus was rude and Incubus were, quite frankly, terrifying, so Friedkin had been drawn to Alpha. Unlike the others, he was at least willing to talk to him in a non-shouty voice. When everyone else had been yelling about files, or about people that Hugo had no reason to care about, Alpha was happy to listen to him, to let him wander his cell and sleep on his floor.

Of course, there had been some issues earlier on, what with him accidentally shocking Alpha and things - it hadn't been deliberate, just the button was in his hand and he wanted to press it. But he thought that giving the files to him would have made up for that. Alpha had really liked the files, been eager to decode what was there, and had explained. And he'd tried to understand, even when Ken had started to use big words that didn't make sense.

He wasn't sure what a variable non-constant was, but he knew what a shape shifter was. What Ken had spoken about had sounded like a shape shifter. But Ken had told him to be quiet, that that wasn't what it was - and that was after he'd got him a new room, and got him clothes he'd liked.

He'd been happy, that there was someone in the base that he could talk to. Sometimes when Priest and Ken were talking, he got the sense that Ken liked Priest more than him, but they were still friends. Until they weren't friends anymore. Until Mona, the girl who had been his favourite stress toy, challenged him about what he was going to do, and he made a choice. He'd got them through what remained of the chaos, knowing that they had to get out of there, beginning to realise that keeping them trapped had caused all of it.

He'd been stabbed, and it had hurt, but then Icarus was shot. Icarus had said he could fix this. So he'd changed his plan again. Held them back so that Icarus and his stress-toy could get out of there. He'd hurt Ken, but he knew he was doing what was right for once. And when he'd fallen - he'd thought that was it, that the blackness would swallow him with even more pain and emptiness than he'd felt before.

Instead, his eyes were opened. Things… things made sense. Not totally, but more than they had. He could see patterns, the whole of the universe laid out before him without the need for a book to be read. He could follow the various paths, even shape them a little.

Project Lamia was safely on the desk of the Detective Agency, and that was strangely reassuring. The others were where they should be, Incubus gathering the materials for war. 

But Ken was still in Blackwing. There was always the possibility he hadn't meant for this to happen, that it was an accident - so that was why he went back that first time. To try and reason with Ken, to talk him out of escalating a war that was already inevitable. Priest had been there, and things had got out of his control surprisingly fast. 

Sometimes, just being around Priest and Ken felt like being drunk. Everything moved slower, and was less clear, and the words he wanted to say died on his lips before he had the chance to speak them.

But after that first time, when he'd tried to reason with them, he'd found himself called back, again and again and again. Sometimes he could actually hear Ken's voice in his head, asking where he was, if he had information for him. Other times, more times, it was Priest who called. Priest who took control away from him. 

At times like that, he felt almost human again, on his knees before someone who he knew was stronger than he was, someone who didn't care about him. It was like a drug, one that he knew he shouldn't be taking, but he was addicted.

The problem was sometimes they'd try and trick him. He'd be sprawled in bed, lying between them, giving up on the effort of maintaining a human form. Dark shadows would sprawl across the sheets as Priest's hands rubbed his thigh or Ken's fingers traced patterns on his chest. He'd be content.

Then Priest would lean in, catching his earlobe in his teeth and tugging slightly before he spoke.  
"Where is Project Incubus?"  
"They're -" he began to reply before he stopped himself, swallowing nervously and shaking his head. "I don't know."

A flicker of annoyance crossed Priest's face, but kisses followed it before he could consider more.


End file.
